Hmm... You may as well ask a me why I breathe or how I came to have a beating heart. My life is as much a mystery as those things. Of course they can be explained, so can my existance, but those answers lack the real substance you are seeking. Suffice it to say, like anyone else I was born, and drew my fist breath at my mother's breast, but for unknown reasons, my mother decided to leave me to be raised by others.
I do not fault her for this, in fact I commend her for a decision that must have been very hard to make. Though my life would likely have been very different with her in it, I do not look on her decision with regret.
As a child I discovered my elementalist power over fire, and it may be for this reason my mother left me, but it was never something I feared... though many others found terror in the sight of a child conjuring flame. I remember how the ever present warmth inside comforted me when I was alone or scared, it seemed to give me a power and confidence that went far beyond that of a normal child. It was for these reasons that I became an outcast among the other children at the orphanage. I was content though, the mindless taunting of the other children never really reached me. It all seemed so... juvinile. I was eleven at the time.
All of this is why it came as a surprise to everyone, including myself, when, in a fit of rage I used my power over fire to ignite the clothes of another child. I remember watching her burn and feeling as if I was very far away from the scene, like an observer in my own body... even the ever present warmth was gone for those few seconds.
It was during those seconds that I first heard the darkness speak to me.
It's impossible to tell if the darkness had been waiting inside all along or if it was pulled to me in those moments following the attack. But it was then, while that girl was burning on the ground at my feet that I first heard it's icy words.
"See how easy it is?"
That was all it said.
I'm better than most people around me and I feel that's it's sometimes a very good idea to let others know where true power really lies. The world cannot contain me, it can only look idly on as I mount my assault upon it. The phrase 'dangerous beauty' has been used to characterize me in the past and there is more than a glimmer of truth to that statement, beauty always has it's advantages. However I have also been described as a cold-hearted bitch, which is an entirely accurate, albeit an exceptionally careless, way to define me. I push people away and as a result have a difficult time becoming close with anyone, but don't pity me, I do this all for a very specific reason.
There is an insatiable part of me that I am powerless to control, and in my moments of weakness, it has already taken those who have managed to become close to me. Do not confuse this for some altruistic behavior to protect those around me from the shadow inside, for it is entirely selfish. I know one day the shadow that drives me will undoubtedly consume me in it's lust for power.
Have you ever heard the saying, "It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness." No? Tolstoy said that and it sums me up quite nicely. That is not to say I'm vain, just aware of my condition and very aware of the benefits this particular condition affords me. Beauty is a tool to be used and in some cases a weapon of tremendous power. I have no qualms about using this power in whichever way suits me best.
I am, however, not without physical blemish. The ever-shifting tendrils of the shadow caress my cheeks constantly, forming hypnotic patterns of darkness on the canvas of my light skin. Also, in my youth, I pierced this pale canvas of mine in an effort to deform the physical beauty that had caused so much strife. Though many have told me that these abnormalities only serve to add to my disturbing allure... those comments often make me smile. I suppose you can never hide beauty, only change it's presentation.
Special? Probably not the word I'd use... how about powerful, superior, or exceptional. Those seem more accurate to me. At anyrate, to answer your question I was born with the ability to command and conjure fire. I can bend the flame to my will to do almost anything I can imagine. It's not something I ever had to learn, it's just something I've always been able to do. To this day I still don't know how I came to have this power... but something deep inside tells me it was a gift from my mother. In that same part deep inside I can feel the fire burning almost continually. It's not painful, in fact it is quite the opposite, the warmth I feel in my body can be exceedingly pleasurable.
In contrast, there is the part of me that is quite cold. It's the shadow. It is also always there, but it feels more foreign not part of me like the fire. Still I am able to partially control it. We have been together for a very long time now, and I believe we have come to some sort of agreement... though I can never be entirely sure. The darkness allows me access to it's power and I... allow it access to...
Well, I have given it what it needs often enough.
**Work In Progress. More to Come Very Soon**
