The Internet

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All your base are belong to me.
The Internet
Player: A Real Person
Origin: Technology
Archetype: Dominator
Threat Level: Over 9000
Personal Data
Real Name: Whatever he edits the Wikiuniverse to say
Known Aliases: The Internets, The Interwebs, Series of Tubes, etc....
Species: Technobiological godmode being
Age: As old as the universe
Height: Confidential
Weight: Confidential
Eye Color: Orange/Green/Red/Blue/Pink/White/Black
Hair Color: Blonde
Biographical Data
Nationality: Every nation. He's The Internet
Occupation: The Internet
Place of Birth: The Internet
Base of Operations: The Internet
Marital Status: Look at porn on The Internet often? That means you're in a relationship with him. Freak.
Known Relatives: World Wide Web, Al Gore, Wikipedia
Known Powers
Psionic mass mind control and internet forum flaming manifested
Known Abilities
Controlling everything, knowing everything, and spreading stupidity across the world. Srsly
The Internet, chest monitor, holographic projection system



In the beginning, there was naught but the Universal Consciousness, a boundless entity in spirit form. At some point, the Universal Consciousness wanted to express itself. It began to conceive, to imagine, and to express its inner promptings and desires.

...and it turns out that the Universal Consciousness desired porn. Thus, the Internet was born.

Drawing upon every bit of knowledge that has ever existed in the history of ever, the Internet seeks to further its plans for global domination, dumbing down humanity and reducing them to mindless, bleating sheep, led about by fast-talk and doublespeak and distracted by Photoshopped pictures of cats. Some say that he has already succeeded.


The Internet is affiliated with the Legitimate Businessmen, providing them with free access to himself, and like many Businessmen, has rumored ties to The Circle of Jerks.


The Internet claims to be the manifestation of the Internet itself, and is often seen floating around the Pocket D bragging to other heroes and villains about this very claim. He has also been known to torture and drive insane anyone nearby by showing them Internet horrors.


Internet Control

The Internet can beam images from shock sites, viral videos, memes and other things he finds on himself straight into the brains of other people, inducing fear, confusion, panic and terror in all who oppose him. In the event that the subject is a robot or doesn't have a brain, he bombards them with spyware, adware and viruses or surrounds them with holographic pop-up adds, respectively.

Flaming and Trolling

As another facet of his powers, he can manifest scathing insults and accusations of engaging in homosexual intercourse with farm animals as pure flame, enabling him to do that which many can only dream about: Set people on fire via the Internet.


The Internet knows all and sees all. If you're reading this, then he's also going through your hard drive and web browser cache. He thinks you're a pervert, by the way.

Weaknesses and Limitations

He's the damn Internet, he has no weaknesses or limitations. Just like Chuck Norris.


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