From Unofficial Handbook of the Virtue Universe
|Player: Player? What?|
|Threat Level:||Pathetically low|
|Real Name:||Jeffery Jefferson|
|Known Aliases:||Mr. Big, The Hat, Buster Wilson, Jeffy The Knife, Lord Malifico, Lord Hat|
|Nationality:||American/Hillbilly Rodeo Clown|
|Occupation:||Evil Stage Magician|
|Place of Birth:||Suicide Swamp, Kentucky|
|Base of Operations:||Mercy Island, Pocket D|
|Illusion mastery, self-resurrection|
|Slight of hand, knife combat|
|Magic hat, magic belt, magic gloves|
So, you've stumbled into the internets and discovered my tiny page explaining everything? Do you really think it would be so easy, [ENTER NAME HERE]?
Well, it isn't! Life is far from easy! I learned that the hard way! Let me tell you my story, [NAME].
I suggest you go get a snack. I'll wait.
Good! We're all set, then? BEHOLD!
THE STORY OF BARON MALIFICO! Well. How do I format these? Okay- Let me - Hold on.
Did that do it? No. It d- Hold on.
That's ..not it. I'm sorry. One moment. Oh lord, how did that get up there? I'm not good with computer. This computer is still running on a dial-up modem and I never learned how to use a keyboard. Give - Okay.
That's not a formatted heading. Damn it. That's a cat.
Okay. I'm just going to cut my losses, I am -very- sorry folks, this was a colossal waste of time. If you see me in public, and you'll know it's me, just please say hello or chat with me.
Please don't stab me.