Holy Shit NINJAS
From Unofficial Handbook of the Virtue Universe
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| Fifteen ninjas hiding in one of Mercy Island's back alleys. | |
| Holy Shit NINJAS | |
| Player: @Zaratustra | |
| Origin: | Magic |
|---|---|
| Archetype: | Mastermind |
| Threat Level: | Classified |
| Personal Data | |
| Real Name: | None |
| Known Aliases: | The Real Ultimate Power |
| Species: | Ninja |
| Age: | At least 600 years old |
| Height: | Varies |
| Weight: | Varies |
| Eye Color: | Can't tell; too stealthy |
| Hair Color: | See above |
| Biographical Data | |
| Nationality: | Japanese |
| Occupation: | Ninja |
| Place of Birth: | Japan |
| Base of Operations: | Japan |
| Marital Status: | Single |
| Known Relatives: | Koga clan, Iga clan, Hotsuma (deceased), Ryu Hayabusa |
| Known Powers | |
| Being ninjas | |
| Known Abilities | |
| Ninjitsu, rocking out | |
| Equipment | |
| Ninja swords, craploads of shuriken and caltrops | |
| Thinks the essence of piracy can kiss his ass | |
Contents |
Origin
Holy Shit NINJAS is not a person, nor is it a robot, a mutant, an escaped science experiment or anything else with a physical form;
As an aside, Holy Shit NINJAS does not, strictly speaking, have a name. Rather, it is what people shout when they see it (or rather, when it lets people see it, because you can't see how totally awesome ninjas are if they're hiding in the dark all the time) just before they get stabbed in the face, and "Totally Sweet Force of Ninjosity That Flips Out and Kills People" wouldn't fit in the name field for the Operation: Destiny database.
Powers
HOLY FUCK THERE'S NINJAS EVERYWHERE
Being everywhere and nowhere at once, Holy Shit NINJAS can cause ninjas to jump out of hiding wherever it wants to. Since ninjas can hide anywhere, this makes life very dangerous for its enemies. Do not slight the essence of ninjosity, for it is quick to anger and will totally uppercut you if you even look at it funny.
TOTALLY SWEET NINJA POWERS
Ninjosity is as dark and mysterious as it is awesome, and just being around ninjas will make you more stealthy. They can even bring the dead back to life by rocking out so hard their soul flies out of the afterlife and returns to their body so they can be in the presence of such badasses.
JESUS CHRIST I CAN'T SEE SHIT OH GOD MY INTERNAL ORGANS
On the flip side, anyone opposing the real ultimate power will find themselves lost in shadows, afraid and crapping their pants before a bunch of ninjas come out and chop their heads off.
What do ninjas do when they're not cutting off heads or flipping out?
Most of their free time is spent flying, but some times they stab. (Ask Mark if you don't believe me.)
Weaknesses
Eagles.
Fucking eagles.
Shouldn't the plural of ninja be--
OH HEY LOOK you're dead.
The Four Horsemen
Holy Shit NINJAS is the Horseman of Ninjas, one of the primal scourges of humanity. It is said that, when the Legitimate Businessmen face their darkest hour, it will reappear in its full glory and totally rock everyone's faces.
This article is totally sweet and shouldn't be messed with unless you have something really important to say, or else ninjas might jump out of your closet and uppercut you through a window.
