LaffTrack/My Croissant
From Unofficial Handbook of the Virtue Universe
Contents |
Round 1
Jack was sitting outside of a small bakery in France eating a bag of Croissant's he had just bought. Across the street was a mime doing his mime routine for the passerby's. Mimes. Oh how Jack hated Mimes. Being a clown it was only natural for Jack to dislike his French cousins. Just as he was getting up to relocate, he noticed that the mime was eying his bag of croissants hungrily. Deciding to be an ass and take his anger towards all mimes out on that particular mime Jack walked up to the mime and held out a croissant as if to give it to the hungry mime. The mime grabbed for it but Jack pulled it back.
"Say please first." Jack said. Knowing he could not speak, the mime made a motion as if he were begging.
"Nope, I want to hear the words."
The mime made a second grab for the croissant.
"I said, say please!" The mime made the same gesture, but again Jack denied.
"You must not want it bad enough." he said and he started walking away.
The mime attacked Jack as he was walking away. Jumping on his back and choking Jack with imaginary dental floss.
"So you aren't just an average mime are you?, well I got some tricks up our sleeves as well!" and with that Jack pulled out his Sonic Laughter-Blaster and shot the mime. The mime fell off of his back and Jack ran.
Round 2
Now in costume Jack was ready for round 2. He rushed back to the bakery to find the mime was there still miming it up. He walked right up to the mime and handed him an exploding Croissant. The mime greedily snatched it, not recognizing Jack and he bit into it releasing an explosion of confetti. Jack was laughing so hard that he didn't notice the mime conjure up an imaginary bat, that is, until he felt it shatter his kneecaps.
"Okay, no more funny Jack." he said through gritted teeth.
He turned the settings on his S.L.B. all the way up and blasted the mime right in the face. The mime flew backwards and knocked down a few police officers.
"Uh oh." Jack said.
Round 3: It's a Tie!
"Do you know who you just attacked!?" shouted the chief of police.
"Just some super-powered mime." Jack said with his head hanging.
"Not just some super-powered mime, THE super-powered mime, You attacked one of the greatest heroes in all of France!" roared the police chief, "just who do you think you are?".
"I think he is LaffTrack, and I think both heroes are coming with me." said the Dark Watcher suddenly appearing from the shadows.
The police Chief hesitated, he'd heard about the Dark Watcher, but he stood firm. "Not possible, the clown's going to jail and The Mime is going back to his undercover work."
"Allow me to rephrase my statement, they are coming with me, end of story." and with that all three heroes were teleported out of the room.
Part 4
"Hey, why all the long faces? The clown has arrived!" The Mime glared at him, "Oh yeah, there's a mime here too."
They both sat down and Lady Grey started to speak. "You two are here because we have a job for you. There is a villain by the name of The Ringmaster that has been brutally murdering our soldiers. He must be stopped."
"Okay, where do we come in?" asked LaffTrack.
"We have located his hideout, now we want you two to go in there and take him down."
"I'll do it!" shouted LaffTrack.
The Mime held up a piece of paper, he would too.
Part 5
It was a circus tent. The Ringmaster was inside. It didn't seem to hard of a task.
"Gee Laff wonders how they ever found this place." LaffTrack joked.
The Mime gave him a quizzical look. "Schizophrenia," LaffTrack answered, "a bit annoying really."
They entered the tent, it was much bigger than it looked on the outside. A few steps in they were attacked by a group of Carnies. They lept into action with The Mime trapping them and Laff knocking them out with sonic blasts of laughter.
"Heheh, not bad for a mime." said LaffTrack.
The Mime held up a sign that said, "Not bad yourself, for a clown."
The two ventured father in, disabling the minions as they came. Eventually they entered the center of the ring. The Ringmaster jumped off of the trapeze and landed in front of them.
"Hey there what can I do for you two?" The Ringmaster asked.
"Oh don't mind our super hero costumes, we just want jobs." LaffTrack joked, "No really, we're here to shut your operation down and take you into custody."
"Well, I'm afraid you can't do that, you see, I won't let you."
That's when things got interesting. The Ringmaster held up his staff and in a flash of light, they were somewhere else.
"I call this little corner of the Shadow Shard the Cirque Du Shadows, my own little oasis."
"Man, Laff has got to get a summer house here." said Laff.
Laff felt a tap on his shoulder and he turned to look at The Mime and smiled. The Ringmaster was to busy talking to notice that The Mime had been sealing him in an imaginary box.
"Tell you what, you can have it if you defeat me."
Laff smiled, "Not a problem." he said and threw a confetti grenade at the villain.
Blinded, The Ringmaster tried to escape, only to run into an imaginary wall and fall over.
"You should watch where you're going." said LaffTrack.
After that he didn't put up much of a fight. The Mime had him stuck in that box pretty tight and with a headache, he couldn't think clearly enough to use the magics in his staff. Vanguard was called in and The Ringmaster was taken away.
Part 6
The 2 heroes sat in Pocket D later that evening, Laff with a glass of chocolate milk and The Mime with a glass of water. The two sat in silence while they drank and finally Laff said, "You were pretty good out there."
The Mime nodded as if to say, "You too."
The Mime took another sip then pulled out a pen and wrote something down on his napkin and handed it to LaffTrack. The note said, "You know, for a clown you aren't half bad."
Laff smiled, "The feeling's mutual my friend."