Prom-Bot 2000

From Unofficial Handbook of the Virtue Universe

Prom-Bot was designed and built by Nukem High student Rustie Steambucket. He was introduced to the world via the following ad, just in time for the prom.

Great News From RustCo!

Prom night is almost upon us and nobody wants to be left without an escort!

"But Rustie!" You ask "How could I ever get a date? Boys don't pay me any attention because of my laughably small ears and nose, and my pallid non-green skin!"

Well RustCo has the solution for you!

Introducing: Prom-Bot 2000 !

Originally designed to chase vandals and stray dogs away from Nukem grounds, this steam and clockwork powered monstrosity has been upgraded to be the ultimate prom automaton!

He can pose for pictures, he dances in 6 speeds, he'll fetch your drinks and even hold your purse! He's a great listener and shoulder to cry on! He will laugh at all your jokes, no matter how inane! Guaranteed not to leave you for a prettier girl!

With this charming fellow at your side, you'll feel like the life of the party no matter how unfunny and unattractive you actually are!

ORDER NOW! Supplies are limited!

Like, really limited .... there's only the one. Whenever I try to make a second they wind up fighting to the death.

MANUFACTURER'S WARNING: Prom-Bot is not a toy. Avoid slow dancing with Prom-Bot as touching his surfaces may cause severe burns. Avoid fast dancing with Prom-Bot as his flailing limbs may cause serious blunt truama. Small children should stay away from Prom-Bot at all times to avoid being trampled. Although Prom-Bot is programmed to hold your purse, it is not recommended and RustCo cannot be held responsible for anything he may steal from it. If you send Prom-bot to fetch your punch, there is an 87% likelihood that he will consume it himself. Do not cry on Prom-Bot's shoulder, as he is not water resistant. In fact, avoid crying all together because in rare instances, displays of strong human emotion may cause Prom-Bot to fly into an uncontrollable berserker rage. Do not stare directly at Prom-Bot. Prom-Bot's eyes should be removed to ensure he will not leave you for a prettier girl. Blocking Prom-Bot's exaust vents may trigger a massive explosion. Breathing in Prom-Bot's exaust may cause nausea and irreversable lung damage. In rare instances flash photography may cause Prom-Bot's head to violently implode. Clinical trials have determined that Prom-Bot's laughter causes significant ear-bleeding in lab mice. Also, it is impossible to determine whether Prom-Bot is laughing with you, or at you. Due to memory limitations, Prom-Bot was only programmed with 2 of Asimov's 3 laws of robotics. During your date, there is a small chance of Prom-Bot becoming self-aware and attempting to destroy/enslave all humanity. The use of Prom-Bot has been banned in most licenced establishments, including Pocket D. Ask your doctor if you are healthy enough to date Prom-Bot.

AE Note

Prom-Bot 2000 appears as an NPC in the AE mission Rustie's Rodent Round-Up (ID# 104406).