Sly Spyder

INDENT"Who the hell are you!?"
Ronald "Ronnie" Reynolds was your typical teenaged loser. And by loser, I don't mean nerd. He wasn't smart. He wasn't popular. He was diddly squat. Fast forward a few years and you find Ronnie dropping out of community college to prioritize his life's calling... as a delivery boy.

INDENTRonnie went up in ranks quickly going from a pizza delivery boy to a space pizza delivery boy. (But just between Ronnie and The Blitz Industries, it was a suicidal mission... well just between The Blitz Industries and The Blitz Industries. Ronnie didn't really know. What Ronnie thought was Pizza was actually a rare breed of spider found in Africa called the Anansi spider. Oh, and it was also radioactive).

INDENTOff Ronnie went into the brave unknown. The Blitz Industries' project The First Family in Space was testing the effects of a cosmic cloud near Mercury on living organisms, but due to a technological malfunction their vessel became engulfed in the cloud with Ronnie in it. The cloud rattled the ship causing Ronnie to fall and to release the radioactive Anansi spider into his pantaloons.

INDENT He was bitten, but I won't say where, while at the same time the cosmic cloud's effects on the ship proved to be negative causing the gamma engine to explode. Thus causing the cabinets to rattle and into Ronnie, a series of syringes carrying superadine are inserted. This series of freak accident events wakens Ronnie's dormant mutated genes. To escape, Ronnie had to put on a mecha-armor-cyber-robo-droid suit to fly away. So to be clear, Ronnie was bitten by a radioactive spider, has been engulfed in a cosmic storm, was within the gamma explosion radius, was dosed with a super serum, had his mutant genes activated, and put on a technological suit of armor (that could possibly be made out of iron?). He must be stronger than Superman?

INDENTNope. The radiations were treatable. The superadine was reversible. The mutant genes went back to sleep. All that really affected him was the spider bite. But the doctors simply diagnosed it as a boo-boo, and placed a Scooby-Doo bandaid over it.

INDENTBlitz Industries was worried about this freak accident's news would get to their stockholders so to shut him up. They offered him hush-hush money, but Ronnie being the college dropout, TV watching, delivery boy that he is... instead wanted ninja classes. Being 3x cheaper than what they were offering him, they accepted.

INDENTUsing the money for ninja school, Ronnie bought the How to Be a Ninja: The DVD Box set. Volumes Abumi to Zeoi and he "accidentally" bought Super Heroines Gone Wild. After weeks of sitting on the couch watching the DVDs (more SHGW than the Ninja vids), Ronnie began to develop super powers such as: the incredible ability to climb on walls, super agility, incredible speed, super strength, incredible camouflaging/invisibility power, and much more!

INDENTThe Blitz Industries executives believing that Ronnie's abilities was because of his ninja training, thought they should hire Ronnie and his new stealth abilities for corporate espionage. They even paid for a spider-themed ninja suit, weapons and everything. He went under the pseudonym: Spider-Spy (his idea)!

INDENTAfter weeks of simply receiving stolen office memos from Ronnie, they demoted him to a super delivery boy. A step up from where he started. Blitz Industries allowed Ronnie to keep all the swag he received, and during Ronnie's off hours, he does freelance villain-ing, or hero-ing. He has yet to decide.

INDENT"I said... Who the hell are you!?"

INDENT"I am... SPYDER!"

INDENT"No, I mean... What the f@#%! are you doing on my car?"

INDENT"ACK! Cheese it!"