Spondee Trochee/A Frank Discussion
From Unofficial Handbook of the Virtue Universe
"You owe me this much." he quipped. "It's not everyday you shoot another man SIX TIMES WITH A MAGNUM. Do you have any idea how much that hurts?" Spondee glanced to the young woman across the table.
Eliza readjusted her glasses and kept her eyes on the menu. "Right, because a girl can't keep a loaded weapon in her house in case some jerk-off decides to break into her apartment looking for money, jewels or maybe an extensive collection of unholy artifacts." She shut the menu and placed it on the table. "I don't live in the best neighborhood. The damn Thorns and Hellions are always looking for eldritch, magical things. I have to stay protected."
"So what you're saying is you'd shoot at a man as opposed to what you normally do to get rid of threats?" Spondee flicked his fingers, imitating martial art kicks.
"Yes. Because some people only fear a gun. Besides....I don't want to accidentally break something in a fight. I like my living room as it is."
"You need to let go of possessions and materialistic wants." He smiled softly at the waitress. "Could I get a Mello Yello, and the turkey triple-decker club, no bacon?"
"Cup of coffee, pancakes with scrambled eggs with wheat toast on the side." Eliza's eyes returned to his face. "Easy for you to say Gramps. You've been through two wives, God knows how many jobs and how many descendants you have. Immortality must be loooooads of fun."
"You try being married twice. And I'm telling you, you can't turn your back on your heritage Eliza. Yes, you're of Morris' blood but you're also of mine, as tainted and dark as it is. And my bloodline is one of the reasons the escapades you've been a part of haven't killed you yet. And don't call me 'Gramps', it makes me feel old.'
"You ARE old, not physically but you still are. And why not grow out your hair? At least then you'll look younger, right now it looks like you're going to take out a tambourine and dance at an airport for change."
"Ha ha ha, a Hare Krishna joke. Never heard THAT one before. For a while people thought I was part of the Aryan Brotherhood, and as my World War Two medals show I mostly certainly am not."
"Been meaning to ask you. Why serve? I mean, you technically didn't during the Civil War, killing a whole bunch of Confederates trying to attack your commune doesn't count."
"It's my duty, and occasionally dark seeds must be planted on the ruins of war. It's not like I'm the only patriot I know, I can at least name one more." He tucked the bottom of his mask under the taut upper half and smiled at the waitress before digging in on his sandwich.
Eliza cut off a chunk of pancake. "I don't count 'stealing a couple dozens containers of Agent Orange' as patriotism Gramps."
He sipped his soda and gave her a look like she was insane. "You know how many innocent boys I saved from inhaling the gas it made? How many vets are still walking, breathing, cancer and genetic defect-free? With the amount I stole, hundreds of Americans were saved. I count that as pretty damn patriotic. And I even ended up donating it to that New Jersey project anyway. Well, most of it."
"If you look at the books, they still used Blue, White, Green and so on."
"Can we continue with the discussion? I don't like talking about that war."
"Fine, fine." She finished her eggs and most of her pancakes. She picked at them. "........what was he like?"
Spondee crunched his pickle noisily. "Who?"
"You know who."
"....to be honest, Morris Callahan was a notorious drinker and overall reckless man. When he wasn't trying to get....female compensation for his deeds, he was shooting anything supernatural in the facial area. Including me a few times. I think he always considered me to be an enemy......y'know, same God as the one who...."
Eliza cut him off. "We don't talk about it. But did you two ever talk?"
"Of course. Helped him a few times...I -may- have been the cause of a few of his escapades but in the end I wasn't what killed him. And....I hate to sound like a neglectful relative but....keep that in mind."
She finished the last of the toast. ".....I will......sorry for....shooting you in the throat, chest, legs, arms and...groin."
"It's okay......if we could just forget the pas-"
"Just stop. It's going to take a while for me to get my mind around it, okay? Let me just come to terms my way."
"....right." Spondee brushed the crumbs of bread from his mouth and pulled his mask back down. "Thanks for lunch Eliza."
She smiled warmly, readjusting her glasses. "It was my pleasure Gra-....Spondee."
He nodded respectfully and straightened his robe. With a quick lunge, Spondee Trochee threw himself into the next dimension and began the process of teleporting home. Eliza sipped her coffee. Family sure is weird sometimes, she mused. With a quick payment of cash with a nice tip, Eliza Callahan left the "Luncheon at the Treshold" and quietly walked home to Kings Row.
