Starditz
From Unofficial Handbook of the Virtue Universe
STARDITZ is a small, silly, sexy SG that riffs on bad ScifFi, buddy films, and college comedies, with a dose of crappy Saturday-morning cartoons thrown in for good measure.
Contents |
THE MACGUFFIN
Somewhere in the Depths of Time and Space (tm), a lost race known only as The Creators created invented coughed up five mystic artifacts: the Starbelts. Why would such an incredibly advanced people spend their time and energy on such trivia? Did their inventors, high on too much SCIENCE! finally lose their bearings? Was it guilt for having spoogjed their life-producing spores all over space, and the anal probes that would inevitably result? Or perhaps, just perhaps...they were big fucking practical jokers?
Who cares. They did it.
In the hands of less-advanced races, the Starbelts provide the ultimate in comsological Celebrity Makeovers, granting their wearers great powers for good or evil, yaddayaddayadda.
The things really ought to come with a warning label. Once you put them on? They won't come off. Our lawyers will be in touch, you alien freaks!
Meanwhile, meet the newest victimized saps glorified bearers of these MASSIVE COSMIC POWERS!, a group of otherwise painfully normal (+-3 sigma. Ed.) students and suitemates at Paragon University...
GOOD GALS:
THE CHEERLEADER
STARBORNE BLUE
Real Name:
Age: 19 ("That's, like, close enough to 21, right?")
GPA: 2.9 and holding
Found her belt in an old steamer trunk while helping her grandmother clean out her attic. More proof, if it were needed, that no good deed goes unpunished.
Likes: Guys, hamburgers; guys; ice cream; guys; cheerleading; guys; comfortable car seats, especially in the back; Creative Writing class; guys; sleeping bags; guys; sneaking into clubs;guys; the beach, especially after dark; guys; her roomies WHO ARE, LIKE, THE COOLEST EVARRRR!; guys...
Dislikes: Fallen Star Black; club ID bands; curfews; History; Math; midterms; finals; Fallen Blackstar; long skirts; uncomfortable bras; dress codes.
Believes: She'll be 19 for ever and ever; that being gay is weird- but still cool if that's really who you are; that she is magically immune to calories and cholesterol; that cheerleading is art dance; that she will never, ever, ever need to KNOW ALL THIS JUNK they make her study.
TUFF CHIK
STARBORNE RED
Real Name: Jennifer
Age:
GPA:
Found her belt under the back seat of a totally beater '76 VW van. She's still living in the van, when her roomies get too much on her nerves.
Likes:
Dislikes:
Believes:
THE GRIND
STARBORNE GREEN
Real Name: Kella DuRien (so she claims)
Age:23
GPA: Hers goes to 5.
Was given her belt by her #1 BF, Parker Parker. She'll forgive him eventually.
Likes: Money; fine clothes; good wine; information; punctuality; fancy motor vehicles; good food; arguing about politics; tinkering; engineering; good manners; psychology; politics; precision; schedules; planning ahead; manipulating peoples' social lives (especially her roomies'); being first among...well, if she ever finds an equal, she'd still be first; intelligent, attractive men; intelligent, attractive women.
Dislikes:
Believes: that capitalism is the only system that works, but only while tempered with enlightened self-interest; that ready-to-wear should never be worn; that an orderly desk is the sign of a well-lived life; that a mussed bed is a sign of a well-enjoyed life; that huge parts of the population should be seen seldom, and heard never; that intelligence testing should be required before being allowed to breed; that bisexuality is not only more efficient from a social-reward standpoint, but is also the genetic destiny of the race.
ODD ONE
STARBORNE YELLOW (currently an NPC)
Real Name: Changes frequently. This week, she's Fawn Starlight
Age: Somewhere north of 30. But is it relevant to the interaction of our higher selves?
GPA: Testing isn't a measure of knowledge, only of your buy-in to the paternalistic materialist system.
Dreamed her belt into being. No, really. She was projecting her astral form across her Karmic Plane, meditating on oneness, and when she woke up, there it was!
Likes: Puppies; rainbows; kittens (cats make her sneeze, but KITTEH!); horses; snakes; nearly everyone she's ever met; fingerpaints; bodypaints; clay; long walks in the sunlight/moonlight/rain/snow/hail/volcanic eruption/what have you; chocolate; anything else furry, scaly, slithery, creepy, or cuddly that was left off this list (lists are an attempt to impose another's idea of structure on your individuality); pop art; fine art; bad art; music; dancing (in the sun/rain/moon/etc.); sleeping; knitting; eating.
Dislikes: Diets; rules; fashion nazis; grammar nazis; politicians; environazis; newpapers; television; lists; schedules; brassieres; Big Oil; Big Pharma; drug laws; leash laws; conflict.
Believes: In Unicorns; and elves; and Hobbits; that everyone deserves a second chance (or a fifth); that women look better in tuxes than men; that Kella needs to relax; that Blue needs to calm down; that JenJen needs to wear less leather; that if that Black girl is going to insist on wearing leather, she really ought to wear a bit more of it; that peace and love always win; that an open wallet (and stash) is the sign of an enlightened mind.
BAD BITCH
FALLEN STAR BLACK
Real Name: Patricia Carter
Age:
GPA:
Was mailed her belt anonymously. She thought it was either a chintzy gift from one of her roomies, or a joke- until she tried to take it off.
Likes:
Dislikes:
Believes:
SUPPORTING CAST
MAR-10
Real Name: Oh, so after three skilennia of service, I've finally earned familiar address? No no, won't do, I'm sorry
Age: A number so transcendentally large that your sad little ape brain would explode if I answered you. And then I'd be stuck with the mopping up. Again.
GPA: Surely you jest. Me? Enrolled...here...?
Likes: Sarcasm, whinging, cringing, whining, kibbitzing, generally agonizing about his fate, coolly trying to assert his superiority, his Zap Cannon ( It is, if I may say so...suh-WEET!).
Dislikes:The current, past, and any future wearers of the Starbelts; his currently rather diminuitive stature; rain; snow; sunshine; heat; cold; being asked for...anything at all; Earth; the entire Earth System; every other star system he's ever seen; ESPECIALLY every other system with biological life; European electrical outlets.
Parker Parker (currently an NPC)
"Parky", as Kella affectionately and annoyingly calls him, must be either the most patient or the most whipped man on earth. Tall and broad-shouldered with, plain-but-perfect WASP features, he dwarfs his half-Asian paramour- which seems to be how she likes it. Brilliant in his own right (he does a great deal of the technical work for Kella's ad hoc 'consulting business'), with a family firmly ensconced in the lower third of the Fortune 1000, he defers to his lover in nearly everything- including her outside romantic interests (though never participating).
Kella, in turn, dotes on 'her' Parky, and can often be heard babbling inane endearments to him via cellphone. He's definitely 'first boyfriend', and she rewards him with more time on her schedule than anyone else, including bi-monthly 'State of Our Relationship' chats- which seem to leave the poor lad more befuddled than ever.
This section about a character group is a stub -- a small, growing work in progress. If you're a member of this character group, why not consider expanding it?
