Taffer
From Unofficial Handbook of the Virtue Universe
| |
| He cut the cameraman. | |
| Taffer | |
| Player: @Taffer | |
| Origin: | Natural |
|---|---|
| Archetype: | Scrapper |
| Security Level: | 50 |
| Personal Data | |
| Real Name: | Bob Bobbins |
| Known Aliases: | Shank |
| Species: | Human |
| Age: | 26 |
| Height: | 5'10" |
| Weight: | 155 pounds |
| Eye Color: | Blue |
| Hair Color: | White |
| Biographical Data | |
| Nationality: | American |
| Occupation: | organ harvester |
| Place of Birth: | Pittsburgh, PA |
| Base of Operations: | Paragon City, RI |
| Marital Status: | Single |
| Known Relatives: | Unknown |
| Known Powers | |
| none | |
| Known Abilities | |
| cutting things, cutting more things, ninjitsu | |
| Equipment | |
| more sharp objects than any person should be allowed to carry | |
| Possesses degrees in cutonomy and cutology. | |
Contents |
History
You know that kid in high school who was obsessed with knives? No, I mean really obsessed with knives? Bob Bobbins was that kid. Nobody's quite certain as to why, precisely, he harbored such an incredible interest with cutlery[1], but harbor it he did.
After graduating from high school he entered Paragon University, acquiring a Master's degree in Cutonomy, with a minor in Cutology. Unfortunately, since the demand for people who kill other people with knives is somewhat lacking in places that aren't Paragon City, he remained there and signed on with Hero Corps, doing the minor odd job around the inner city. It wasn't particularly exotic work, but it did involve Bob putting sharp objects through soft objects that scream and bleed (always a plus), so it kept him occupied.
One day, after a particularly gruesome trip through a warehouse to recover a magical gewgaw, Bob slipped and nearly fell on a bit of liver from someone's torso[2]. After cursing the errant giblet, Bob realized that such acts of disembowelment were a waste, as people would pay good money for new and slightly used organs. Seeing a quick path to fortune, fame and more fortune, he quit Hero Corps and purchased a large refrigerator, an ice maker and several portable coolers with his severance pay. Dubbing himself the Taffer, he went on to become Paragon City's premiere cutting-oriented superhero and organ trafficker.
The Taffer vs. Maxwell Christopher
As his career as a vigilante progressed, the Taffer eventually encountered the monomaniacal, sadistic individual which would eventually become his most hated adversary: Self-appointed Nemesis nemesis Maxwell Christopher. While seemingly well-meaning at first, the Taffer noticed an unusual paranoid streak in Maxwell, as much of the more sinister (and not-so-sinister) goings-on he was sent to uncover were attributed to the machinations of Nemesis. Furthermore, as his work with him continued Maxwell's missions began sending him to more and more outlandish locations, such as Chernobyl Chaindog Alley, a particularly deep section of the abandoned sewers populated entirely by radioactive dogs with chainsaws for heads.
It goes without saying that the Taffer really fucking hates Maxwell Christopher. Unfortunately, nobody's quite sure whether or not Maxwell's actions are based on legitimate intelligence, baseless paranoia or simply because he's an asshole. As Maxwell denies all wrongdoing, the truth may never be known [3].
Abilities
Cutting Things
As if you couldn't guess by now that the Taffer is really, really good at cutting things. This is basically here just to make things all official-like.
Ninjitsu
Taffer is remarkably stealthy, dexterous and agile, all of which are handy skills to have when you're in the business of killing people before they see you, then dumping their internal organs into a cooler full of ice and selling it to the nearest hospital.
Equipment
Enough Sharp Objects to Kill an Army
At any given moment, the Taffer has at least eleven kodachis, kukris, cutlasses, dirks, xiphoses, gladiuses, shivs, falchions, smatchets, main gauches, khanjars, athames, khopeshes, bowie knives and/or other unmentioned edged weapons on his person. He may not use them all, but by his reasoning it's better to have them and not need them than not have them and end up needing them.
Barring all of the above, his sharp-edged tool of choice is a katana acquired from a villain who, in his infinite honor, stood around announcing his name, ancestry and backstory before facing off against the Taffer. The Taffer, not being particularly concerned with honor, stabbed him with a machete mid-speech and took his weapon. The machete was, in turn, acquired from a random Sky Raider after the Taffer stabbed him with a knife, the knife was acquired from a random Hellion after the Taffer stabbed him with a plastic knife, and the plastic knife was acquired from a random City of Gyros after the Taffer stabbed the cashier with a particularly pointy bit of fingernail. Okay, I lied about the cashier part. But everything else is true.
In those rare occasions when the Taffer finds himself outside of cutting range, he carries with him a near-endless supply of shuriken. Traditionally, he aims to wound, mostly because shuriken don't actually cut so much as stick in people and cause them to slowly bleed to death, which is completely antiethical to the Taffer's views.
Personality
The Taffer is patient and well-spoken, albeit somewhat snarky when things don't go his way, and he takes no small amount of pride in what he does. While he does fight crime like everybody else, his concern with the crime rate in Paragon City and his effects on it are secondary, as his interests lie more in ensuring that those who do get hurt receive adequate medical attention. After all, he reasons, what's the point of a million people holding a net if there's no one to help those who fall through[4]?
Oh yeah, and there's that whole "unhealthy fixation with knives and other cutting implements" thing too, I guess.
Footnotes
- ↑ In their routine mapping of vigilante genomes, Crey scientists discovered something in Bob's DNA that they dubbed "The Shank Gene," a theoretical bit of genetic code that predisposes one towards deadly cutlery. The main reason it's theoretical is that the gene somehow manages to stab to death every scientist that's attempted to study it. The Shank Gene does not fuck around.
- ↑ The someone in question was not Bob. Which should be pretty obvious, of course, but it helps to keep all of one's bases covered.
- ↑ Actually, Maxwell does it because he's an asshole. I was just trying to build suspense.
- ↑ Actually, he never said this. I'm just tossing it in there to make him seem more philosophical and cultured. Is it working? ...oh. Never mind, then.
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