The Super Hero Manual
From Unofficial Handbook of the Virtue Universe
Contents |
Super Hero Manual
THE GOVERNMENT
DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
FEDERAL BUREAU OF SUPER-POWERED AFFAIRS
TO: All Aspirants to Superhero status
FROM: Dr. Jane Loudermilk, Undersecretary of Superheroics (City Representative)
RE: The Government Manual for New Superheroes
Your Government wants you to succeed in whatever you choose to do (except if you choose to overthrow the Government). To this end, the Government publishes a series of guides to provide a Useful Information, such as "The Government Manual for New Homeowners" and "The Government Manual for New Motor Vehicle Operators" (but not "The Government Manual for New Overthrowers of the Government").
"The Government Manual for New Superheroes" will help you get started as a costumed crimefighter. Because it is meant to aid the broadest possible audience, it has been written for those who do not have superpowers as well. That is, it is intended mostly for the moody millionaire industrialists, the crusading reporters, and the chipper young orphans who, according to the latest census figures, make up the larger part of the populace. It is less helful for the aliens, psychic prodigies, mythic gods, and mysterious dwellers of unseen realms who make up the rest.
Herein you will find Indispensable Guidance regarding the many and varied options you must consider and actions you must take early on. A superhero cannot be a fence-sitter, after all. Even the late, legendary FENCESITTER or the MONUMENTAL GLACIER have taken action from time to time, albeit often in an untimely fashion.
At the outset of your career arise some of the most difficult but potentially rewarding choices you will ever need to make: your name, first and formost. Will mention of your moniker give your foes fits, or giggles? Next: your costume-if you are going to be in the same outfit every time duty calls, you had best pick one that is both comfortable and practical, and falttering as well. Your symbol? An icon is worth a thousand catchphrases, and yours will stand for what you stand for. Where will you hide out? In whom will you confide? Will you go solo or do you prefer company, either in the form of a protege (or "sidekick", in Government-sanctioned parlance) or teammates of equal stature, if different skills? And when you are finally ready to declare yourself super, when you have completed the proper forms and paid your registration fees and union dues, who will you fight?
This guide is written in Straightforward Language-the kind of simple, casual speech you might use every day as you indulge in lengthy interior monologues that explain your origins, your current mental state, and any previous encounters you might have had with the persons around you. Numberous headings divide the material into Discrete Sections, and words have been capitalized only when Strictly Necessary. The overall presentation in printed and bound form allows you to use a bookmark to hold your place if you need to stop reading in order to, say, render assistance to a fellow citizen, or take something off the stove.
That said, you are now only several lengthy articles, multiple duplex forms, and an official stamp from santioned superheroism. We wish you the speed of MARATHON-MAN, the strength of TINY SAMPSON, and the wisdom of SCHOLARA: THE HUMAN FOOTNOTE as you begin as an up, up, and coming superhero.
Not Answering to Your Civilian Name
You will likely find it difficult enough at first remembering to respond to your superhero name once you have adopted it. Therefore, you must prepare for those times when you will be someone else, and to answer to your civilian name would confirm the suspicions of those who would do you ill and compromize the safety of your family, friends, and work-day colleagues. Perhaps even before you choose your superhero name you should begin practicing not answering to your civilian name for hours at a stretch - unless you are a teenager, in which case you probably already have some practice not responding to your name, at least when called by adults.
Worldwide Superhero Unions
Even superheroes - lone crusaders and team members alike - benefit from membership in groups expressly organized to protect their special interests. Consider joining one of these:
United Federation of Archetypes
The oldest superhero union, represents the oldest superheroes, jealously safeguarding their interests in the most oft-imitated character features and facets.
Beneficial Organization of Caped Crusaders
Boasts a singel prerequisite to membership!
Protective Coalition of Converted Villains
Lobbies for the equal treatment of those who traded a life of crime for a life of crimefighting.
Fraternal Union of Detective Heroes
Among other benefits, provides economic assistance by periodically purchasing magnifying glasses, prints-dusters, and mini-microphones in bulk.
Rights Alliance of Extraterrestrial Champions
Being from another planet is difficult enough. Being alien and godlike is a full-time job. We can help.
International Sisterhood of Female Paragons
We know that it's not the tight costume, but rather what's under the tight costume, that's important.
Benevolent Order of Fist-Fighters
Extends an open hand to prospective members; won't knuckle under when bargaining for benefits.
Organizing Board of Journeymen Avengers
OBJA represents apprentice practitioners of the fine art of superheroic vengeance, because "Vengeance is a minefield".
Federated Society of Muntants and Altered Humans
We fight to change the system so you won't have to change (again).
Amalgamated Committee of Radioactive Persons
A welcoming home for the zapped, nuked, and fried alike.
Labor Associaton of Sidekicks, Mascots, and Mechanics
Looking out for the underlings, the underdogs, and the grease monkeys.
Planetary Council of Users of Enchanted Artifacts
By the Power of organization for the purpose of negotiation on matters of wages, seniority, working conditions, fringe benefits, and the like... we have the Power!
Application for Registration
I. Biographical Data - The following questions will aid the FBSA in its decision process.
Superheroic Name: Identification Data: (circle all that apply)
Human
Mutant
Altered Human
Alien (includes other dimensional beings)
Godling
Mystic Being
Real Name (optional, see fine print):
Date of Birth:
Date of Origin:
Base of Operations: (include zip code)
Phone / Fax No.: (___) ___-____
II-A. Constume
Please provide a detailed description of your costume below. Include boot size. Attach additional sheets if necessary. Cape?
II-B. Insignia
Draw your insignia here:
III. Affiliations
Sidekick?
If yes, Name:
Member of team?
If yes, Name of team:
Team base of operations:
Known Nemeses: (list in order of first inimical encounter)
Names of confidant(e)(s): (list in order of trustworthiness)
IV. Powers & Vulnerabilities
Describe your powers and abilities as precisely as possible. Indicate if they have been documented (news footage, eyewitness accounts, etc...)
Describe any vulnerabilities, drawbacks or complications of concern (optional, see fine print):
V. Interest Details
Do you plan to fight crime within Paragon City? Do you have other geographic preferences? Would you be willing to relocate?
VI-A. Background
Which types of teammates would you care to work with? (note compatable or complimentary abilities as well as personality types)
Have you ever been convicted of a felony? (if yes, explain on the back of this sheet)
Do you consent to a genetic examination for insurance purposes, if necessary?
VI-B. Background
Provide any character references you feel would aid in the decision making process. Do not list relatives. (optional, see fine print) Name: Address: Email: Phone: Relationship with applicant: All information and statements herein are accurate and true to the best of my knowledge and belief. Signature:
FREE From the FBSA
Righteous Down to the Seams: Making Sure Your Costume Provider Is Sweatshop-Free
What You Need to Know Before Fighting Crime Abroad
What You Need to Know Before Fighting Crime in Outer Space
What You Need to Know Before Fighting Crime in a Vast Cavern in the Center of the Earth Where Monstrous Bats Breathe Fire
Can I Claim My Sidekick as a Dependant? And 99 Other Common Tax Questions
Buying a Used Hall of Justice - Know Your Rights
Other Publications of Interest
Heather's Mommy Has Two Identities: A Guide for Children of Crimefighters
So You've Been Bitten by a Radioactive Animal Whose Inherent Abilities Have Been Transferred to You: What Next?
Reverend Revenge's Guide to Retroactive Continuity: How to Revise Your Origins Without Anyone Noticing
Who Moved the Piece of Cheese That Is the Only Substance on Earth That Can Sap My Superpowers?
You're Evil - But I'm OK with That: Daily Affirmations for Superheroes Who Do Too Much
