User:Danton
From Unofficial Handbook of the Virtue Universe
Danton is a Mythological creature, believed in only by people who have severe psychological issues that need dealing with. And the Australian tax office, who keep bugging it to pay taxes, despite the fact it doesn't exist.
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Rumours
The exact nature of the 'Danton' (Or 'Dantoniate Austrinalius' as the hypothetical scientific name goes) is subject to much speculation, which have solidified in the form of two seperate beliefs about the nature of the beast.
'Manslut'
One possible nature of the 'Danton' is that it exists in a permanent state of Manslutiness, which is likely to have come about because it lives on a desolate, unknown land rumoured to be called 'Australia'. Australia, like Atlantis, 'Danton' itself or the concept of hygenic Dungeons and Dragon's players, is a complete fabrication with no recordable evidence other then that which new-age nutjobs make up.
In this nature he/she/it (it is hypothesised that as there is only one 'Danton' in existance, it is in fact asexual. I.E. Has no willy) is believed to use the power of it's mind and the fibre-optic-cable-like qualities of Bamboo reed to hijack the internet, riding the Bamboo reeds into the underground tubes the internet is carried through by Oompa Loompas. From here the 'Danton' then proceeds to send dirty tells to every logged on character in City of Heroes of the female body type with a chest slider above 51%. The only known way to get rid of a 'Danton' that has caught your digital scent is to utter the magic phrase "I'm a fifty one year old male truck driver with back hair, and you're kinda cute".
RPer who doesn't RP
The other mythological nature of the 'Danton' is that it is in fact a centuries old texan beast with excessive thigh hair and wings extending from it's armpits. This belief states that it feeds off imaginative energy which is easiest found in modern times through having a digital character hang around roleplaying environments on the internet.
This 'Danton' is believed by those who subscribe to this theory (and it's newsletter "'Danton' watched my RP today, it was creepy" monthly) to absorb moods similar to the environments he is in, hence why he/she/it is rarely seen in PvP zones (it causes intense rage) or Hazard zones (where he/she/it feels sort of useless by him/her/itself). In fact, it is believed by those who follow this idea that this is why the characters hang around Pocket D. The excessive RP about characters getting drunk/lucky results in him feeling tipsy/'content'.
Facts
There are few facts that exist about the 'Danton'.
Never seen
The 'Danton' has in fact never been seen in the wild or captivity, and the only evidence that exists about it is purely derived from fossil records.
Omnivorous
Judging by the splay of teeth found in the jaw, the 'Danton' is capable of eating both meat and plants, though from it's fossilised poo (that's the technical term) researchers have deduced that it's diet seems to consist of two-minute Noodles, Pizza, take away Chicken and the slower moving insects crawling upon it's hide. As liquid, it seems to consume a reasonable amount of alcohol, followed up the day after by a large amount of water and dry bread, along with headache tablets.
Dimensions
The 'Danton' seems to be over six feet tall, with one foot a full size difference in shoe-size then the other. Judging by scuff marks from footprints found in it's primitive cleansing facility, this size-difference seems to have provided the waking 'Danton' with much confusion. At least until it wakes up completely and remembers it's name, address, gender and shoe sizes.
Contact
Although some individuals claim to have seen a 'Danton' around (or even spoken with it, in rare cases), this is usually a hoax or the first sign of oncoming madness. Those who have claimed contact with the 'Danton' are to be carted away to the nearest psychiatric hospital at first opportunity.
