From Unofficial Handbook of the Virtue Universe

Superpower: squinting
Mike
Player: Mike again
Origin:	Natural
Archetype:	I'm just some guy, you know?
Threat Level:	Scoville tolerance: 50,000+
Personal Data
Real Name:	It's still Mike
Known Aliases:	none
Species:	Human
Age:	I AM FIVE YEARS OLD.
Height:	11'
Weight:	170
Eye Color:	Greenish grayish something
Hair Color:	Brown
Biographical Data
Nationality:	American
Occupation:	I ruin people's lives for a living
Place of Birth:	Parts Unknown. It's mostly populated by evil pro wrestlers.
Base of Operations:	Your house. I'm there right now.
Marital Status:	My marital status involves YOUR MOM.
Known Relatives:	Several
Known Powers
I can sing pretty well. No, for real. I can also go, "Oh, one more thing" when I update this profile thing, evidently for hours.
Known Abilities
I cook a mean wine-braised salmon. I can also run a decent Call of Cthulhu game, because I was a tabletop RP nerd before I was an MMO RP nerd.
Equipment
I have a computer. What are the odds?
'

Remember that 25 Facts meme?

1. I am 11 feet tall.

2. On the day I was born the sun was blacked out for six hours, six minutes, and six seconds, but it turned out to be a bad transformer.

3. I was the darling of the 16th century French aristocracy.

4. I designed the dodecahedrons of ancient Egypt, but due to budget cutbacks we wound up with pyramids.

5. I am highly accustomed to weightlessness.

6. I'm a really bad Shai-Hulud pilot but I insist on trying all the same.

7. After I died I went to Second Banana Heaven, but it was so political there. Pat Buttram had it in for me from day one.

8. I have no higher brain activity at all. My actions are entirely driven by instinct and rote patterns that seem to mimic human behavior. Even as I write this I have no cognitive conception whatsoever of its meaning.

9. I own a magic harp whose strings break when I tell a lie.

10. If Suge Knight ever asks you to be a cabin boy on his yacht tell him no. Trust me on this.

11. I can always get the job done except in my cutscenes, when I suddenly become completely incompetent. But that's the only way to move the plot sometimes.

12. For some reason my evil minions are more powerful when you only face a few of them. If you face a large group of them you will beat them easily, but if there's only two or three expect a drawn out fight scene.

13. I believe the whole problem with evil is that nobody has beat it up yet. Go to where evil is, punch it in the face, problem solved.

14. I like cats.

15. I am the Man of 1004 Holds.

16. I may be a burglar, but I am an honest one, I hope, more or less.

17. My addition to any group of people automatically turns them into a ragtag bunch of misfits. But ragtag bunches of misfits get things done!

18. I can breathe underwater.

19. One of the best things that ever happened in my life involved Chicken McNuggets.

20. I was the original model for the character Sailor Moon.

21. I know what the queers are doing to the soil.

22. A couple of the above are true.

23. I have a hard time taking memes seriously.

24. Or following their rules.