What's in a name?
From Unofficial Handbook of the Virtue Universe
The Place: Paragon City, Hero Registration Center, City Hall
The Time: After the Rikti Invasion, when the city was in desperate need for heroes...all kinds of heroes.
Two stood in a line of hundreds—perhaps thousands—waiting for their chance to become a registered hero of Paragon City. The first was tall, though very thin, and wore glasses. His blond hair was cut in an out-of-date style, but kept scrupulously short and neat. He was dressed in a t-shirt that had a big red cross on it, khaki cargo pants, and laced up black boots, giving him the look of an adventurer from the 1940's. The young lady with him was dressed in blue jeans, a black t-shirt, and black Doc Marten boots. Her dark purplish hair was spiked, and a dog collar was fastened around her neck.
“This sucks,” said the heroine, frowning at the paper she had been handed by a helpful city employee moments ago. “I don't want to give my real name. I mean, I only gave out my first name because I HAD to before, y'know...”
“It's optional,” the hero pointed out mildly. “See? Those in red are optional.”
“Oh,” she replied, peering down at her form anew. “Ok. That makes sense, secret identities and all. Can't be very secret if any idiot can come in and look it up in the records.” She leaned forward to try to look over his shoulder, “Did you fill yours in, Dwight?”
“That's Trauma, remember?” he said irritibly, jerking his paper away and out of her sight, as if she was trying to copy test answers from him. “Ok, Shadow, or should I call you Mary?”
“Jeez, so sensitive,” replied the woman—Shadow—as she bent back to her paper. She continued filling out the form, while Trauma turned and regarded her with a serious expression.
“Are you sure you want to use the name 'Shadow'?” he asked. “Seems kind of generic.”
“Oh, like 'Trauma' is so freakin' original,” she shot back with a snort of derision.
“No, I'm serious... how many people do you think want the name 'Shadow'? Lots of them, I'd think.”
“Well, it is pretty cool, cuz I picked it, of course.”
“Of course,” he said dryly, glancing at his watch, “We got here pretty late, and how long have we been waiting in line?”
“Uh, like an hour?” she asked uncertainly.
He shook his head as the line inched forward again, as if to prove his point, “Try more like three hours.” Trauma nodded his head to the line behind them, “And there's still more coming in. First day of registration and all...kind of like college.”
“Like you'd know,” she muttered scornfully, looking up and down the line. After a moment, she issued a grudging reply, “I guess you got a point.”
“Sure,” he acknowledged, ignoring her ill temper, “and you know what? Shadow's pretty common I'll bet. I bet there's even a 'Chadow' and a Shadow with 3 dub-yews, with a zero for the 'o', and maybe even a 'Zhadow' with a 'z'--”
“I get your point, jeez,” Shadow—or should we say Mary—said scowling. “Fine, then, I'll add something on the end of it. Like, uh...” She stopped for a moment, mentally reviewing names and silently mouthing them before choosing one and replying, “Like, 'Shadowbound', that's pretty cool. You know, 'Bound to Shadows'...or, wait, 'Bound for Shadows'? Which is the right way?”
“Either,” Trauma replied. “And I bet there's a lot of those too. You know, the name 'Shadow' with something tacked on either before or after it, like Shadowbound, Shadowbind, Shadowplay, Silent Shadow, Shadow's Silence, Shadowcat, Shadowdog, Shadowgun, Phantom Shadow, Shadowknife, Shadowsword, Shadowshard, Shad--”
“Alright, jeez, I get your point,” she grumbled. He didn't, however, hear her and continued on.
“--owstalker, Shadowwalker, Walker of Shadows, Shadow's Light, Light of Shadow, Shadowrunner, Shadowfighter, Shadowboxer, Shadowdrain, Shadow's Curse, Curse of the Shadow, Shadowwolf, Vampire Shadow, Shadowmaul, Shadowmace, Shad--”
“Alright! Alright!” she exclaimed in a loud voice, drawing several curious and caustic looks from the crowd of wanna-be heroes. Lowering her voice and glancing around sheepishly, she continued, “Alright, I get you...but, jeez, I channel energy from a demonic dimension, and I've seen at LEAST twenty demons in this crowd already. I can't have a name that's all “Demon Queen” or whatever... I just channel the darkness, not the demons.”
“Yeah, but do you really want to be a 'dime-a-dozen' shadow clone?”
“No,” she said, erasing her chosen name out of the 'Superhero Identity' line on the form. “But what, then?”
“Weeellll...” Trauma said slowly, inching backwards from the volatile dark pugilist, “how about 'Miss Abyss'?”
“Miss Abyss? Sounds lame.”
“But you're a young, uh, woman, and 'abyss' means a dark endless chasm. Plus, I bet no one's thought of it either.”
“Hmm,” she said, rubbing her chin, “got a point there. I certainly wouldn't have thought of it...because it's LAME!” She scowled at her companion and scrawled 'Shadow' on her registration form once more. “I'll just take my chances with what I want...and oh, hey, there's a guy in darkness...hey, hey buddy!”
The hero in question was swathed in darkness, head to toe, making him look fearsome and imposing. He stopped and looked over Mary's direction. “Me?” he squeaked, with a surprisingly high-pitched voice.
“Yeah you, have you gotten registered yet?”
“Yes, just a moment ago,” he replied glumly.
“Why the sad clown face then?”
“I wanted the name 'Shadowstalker',” he started.
“Cool name,” Mary agreed, shooting Trauma a look that warned him to keep his mouth shut. The warning was well-taken, and Dwight turned back to his own form, making sure all his information was correct.
“Yeah, well, it was taken. I tried about fifty other combinations, but they were all taken.”
“Man, that sucks...” she commiserated. “So, what'd you end up with?”
“Generic Hero 47,” he sighed, “because I couldn't think of anything else and the clerk didn't have any more time for me.” He shook his head, “She said in a week I could come back and re-register a new name, if I filled out some forms after the initial push of heroes was in.”
“Oh,” was her reply. “Well, uh, thanks.”
As Generic Hero 47 turned and walked away, Mary looked back to Dwight, “Uh, Miss Abyss you said?”
Back to Miss Abyss.
