Excel Excel

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For the glory of Across!
Excel Excel
Player: McDohl
Origin: Natural
Archetype: Blaster
Security Level: 25
Personal Data
Real Name: Unknown
Known Aliases: Classified
Species: Human(?)
Age: Legal
Height: Confidential
Weight: Secret
Eye Color: Green
Hair Color: Orange
Biographical Data
Nationality: Unknown
Occupation: Flunky
Place of Birth: Unknown
Base of Operations: F City, F Prefecture
Marital Status: Single
Known Relatives: Unknown
Known Powers
Flight, Hyper Speed
Known Abilities
Contains more energy than any sane human being would ever be able to comprehend.




Excel Excel hails from an alternate dimension where most women are buxom and wear skimpy outfits. Based on her observations, there's more bleed-over from her dimension than people are letting on.


After the Great Will of the Macrocosm had her child with Pedro, Excel continued to remain neglected by Miss Will (now Mrs. P), causing a series of very unfortunate events to befall her. The details of such events are inconsequential, as they landed Excel in Paragon City. Completely unaware that she had been dimensionally displaced, merely reassigned by her beloved superior, Lord Ilpalazzo, she set out in to the city to conquer it in the name of the Idealogical Organization of ACROSS. Upon arriving, she discovered that her seemingly endless reserve of energy had developed an output in the form of concussive blasts of energy. Not bothering with the details of why such a transformation took place, she again merely wrote it off as Ilpalazzo's whim.

The truth of the matter is that Ilpalazzo orchestrated Excel's displacement, desiring to be free of her bungling.


Her attempts to conquer the city were, obviously, unsuccessful. On many occasions, she sent requests to ACROSS headquarters for aid and assistance (28 letters, 462 e-mails, and 7,289 postcards with Atlas on the front with the words "WISH YOU WERE HERE"). However, since ACROSS does not exist in this dimension, all of these requests were returned to sender...except for one, which found its way in to the inbox of the CEO of Earth. Seeing potential in the girl's abilities, he dispatched one of his greatest lieutenants, Mystic Mongol, to recruit her in to the League of Extraordinary Bastards. Excel, believing these people to be the assistance ACROSS sent, happily accepted. Her first mission with the Bastards ended in spectacular failure, forcing the Bastards to go in to hiding for several months, and resurfacing later as the Circle of Jerks.

The Solo Year

After being ejected from the Jerk Hole and an angel with a flaming sword installed at the entrance, Excel struck out in to Paragon once again, alone. The details of this year are largely unknown, but once she returned to the Jerks, she had obtained a powerful relic, the V-Watch. This allowed her to transform in to Viewtiful Excel. However, this transformation conferred no additional power besides increasing her bust size significantly. Reluctantly, she was accepted back in to the Jerk ranks. To this day, she can be seen soaring over Talos Island, insisting that the conquest of the city starts with but a single island.

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