Lost RO Knight
From Unofficial Handbook of the Virtue Universe
|Stock Publicity Photo|
|The Lost RO Knight|
|Real Name:||Sigurd Eytryggr|
|Known Aliases:||Lost, RO|
|Place of Birth:||Prontera, Rune-Midgard|
|Base of Operations:||Croatoa|
|Hitting stuff with swords, surviving grievous injuries, mad looting skills|
|+4 Perfect Broad Sword of Liberation, +5 Full Plate of Nature, +3 Hyper Manteau, Glasses of Kirin, +5 Greaves of Health, Wedding Ring, Ring of Mustle|
|b> red pots 40z|
The Lost RO Knight hails from a world where its people spend endless hours beating up wildlife in parts of the world in order to prepare themselves for trips into other, more dangerous parts of the world, which in turn are done to prepare themselves for trips into the most dangerous parts of the world, all to prepare themselves for fights against large, mean creatures that carry around items that people don't really need but get anyway for bragging rights. Because of this, most people assume he's either from a medieval fantasy world or Korea. Or both.
Lost was a perfectly ordinary Lv. 87/JLv. 50 VIT Knight, spending his days in Rune-Midgard beating up on wildlife and looting their corpses. During a routine trip into the basement of an ancient, decrepid cathedral teeming with the spawn of evil, his fiance (and party Priestess) came to the unfortunate realization that she was low on spell reagents. Regardless, when it was time to return she attempted to cast Warp Portal, reassuring him that she didn't really need a Blue Gemstone to do it. Lost, having not put any points into INT, trusted her and jumped in.
One harrowing journey through time, space and the Internet later he was roughly deposited in the middle of Perez Park from a tear in reality about fifty feet above the ground. Confused yet unhurt, he attempted to ask a cabal of hooded men with glowing eyes where he was and what happened. The men, being a jumpy sort when it came to dealing with heavily armed and armored people, attacked him. Lost promptly killed them, took their valuables and wandered off in search of civilization.
About a week of wandering and mindless beatings later, Lost was still in Perez Park. Fortunately he managed to be in the right place at the right time, as he stumbled onto the Circle of Jerks' company picnic. Sensing a kindred spirit, they welcomed him into their organization.
Beatings continued and morale improved, until one day his sort of kind of mentor in vigilantism Vortex Knight disappeared without a trace and was presumed to be temporarily dead. Distraught, Lost donned his costume, took up his sword and continued fighting crime in his name on the weekends.
Several months later Vort resurfaced in the Rogue Isles as Vortex Reborn, now in the employ of the Legitimate Businessmen and, more importantly, not really dead. Upon hearing this Lost shrugged, hung up the costume and gave Vort his sword back before continuing to fight crime as the Lost RO Knight.
Like all good heroes (and some crappy ones), Lost RO Knight has had his obligatory death: In March of 2006, after finding out from Portal Corporation scientists that there was no way to reach his home dimension, he left for Croatoa. There, he disappeared into the northern forest, appearing in the spirit world before two opposing armies of Fir Bolg and Tuatha de Dannan. There, he enacted a desperate plan to return home via Valhalla by beating the ever-loving FUCK out of an entire God-damned army of Tuatha, essentially being so awesome that the valkyries would have to take notice when he died.
A Topic Header That Isn't Depressing-Sounding
The next day he came back like nothing ever happened. He went on record to say that being a dead superhero is "pretty boring" and he wouldn't suggest it to anyone who would want to try it.
Fortunately it turned out that Odin was a pretty cool guy and, thanks to him, Lost now has the proper coordinates and means to return to his homeworld. It's currently pretty low in the queue for Portal Corporation exploration teams though, mostly because nothing there wants to break through the dimensional barrier and kill everything it comes in contact with.
Lost has a natural proficency with any and all bladed weapons. Basically, if it's a sword or sword-like, he can use it to kill something and take its stuff.
Resisting Swords (and Everything Else)
Also, despite being perfectly human, he's really hard to put down and keep down. Like, really, REALLY hard. It could be the armor, it could be natural talent, it could be a ton of other things, but regardless, he's pretty freaking tough.
Forged from cold iron and enchanted by the region's best alchemists, Lost's broadsword is... well, it's pretty darn good. He can cut through regular armor, high-tech armor, really high-tech armor, ghosts, people, zombies, you name it. He didn't get it after some watery tart lobbed it at him or as a family heirloom (bought it for about seven hundred and fifty grand in his home world's currency, actually), but hey, at least the fairly simple origin keeps this entry from stretching out for two pages.
Most of Lost's armor was either acquired from things he killed or bought on the market, all of which was enchanted by the aforementioned region's best alchemists. Hell, you can scroll up and take a look at all of it in the table up there; if you don't know what any of it means you're not missing much. If you do, you're a tremendous nerd and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Due to some magical system incompatability handwaving, sorcery from this dimension won't affect anything from his dimension, which is why the issue of it being disenchanted never came up and will never come up, ever. Status quo uber alles.
Silver, unadorned, with "Sigurd" and "Verdandi" engraved on the inside. Yes, he's married. Yes, his wife is hot (she wears one of those Chinese dresses with the slits in the side up to here all the freaking time). No, he's not getting a divorce; he'd lose his stat boosts.
For a guy about thirty dimensions away from his home world who spends his time hacking off limbs, disemboweling people and wading through gore in a bid to keep the questionably intelligent citizenry of a New England city safe, he's a pretty friendly guy, if not terribly sharp. He doesn't hold grudges or get upset that often, if at all, and tends to regard "those funny people who talk with the parentheses around their sentences" with at least some degree of respect. Not that any of this prevents him from engaging in typical Jerk activities, of course. After all, it's just an MMO; it's not like anything here matters much in the real world, right?
He's also very prone to running around in his underwear. Nobody's quite sure why.
In a fit of whimsy, Dr. Science cobbled together an android duplicate of Lost using Council and Malta robot parts, vending machines, a giant Pez dispenser and a mish-mash of crap the Jerks found lying around. The result turned out to be a very convincing copy that, for reasons unknown, is never seen in public alongside Lost. Usually it just charges through the Yellow Line zones, spewing broken English and shooting inspirations and money at strangers, though fellow Jerk Dote Up A Cat has taken an interest in it for reasons unknown.
- Lost is widely credited for the sudden, nigh-instantaneous realization among the heroes of Paragon City that criminals carry objects besides cybernetic eyes, magic doodads that make people punch harder and multi-colored pills. This conclusion was reached after several of the city's greatest thinkers convened to watch security camera footage of Lost gathering up weapons, magic trinkets and car keys from a warehouse full of fallen Warriors and concluded that hey, maybe that guy with the sword is on to something. The jury's still out on how he found a sword mace on a guy in power armor, though.
- Nobody ever, EVER calls him by his real name. This is probably because nobody ever asks him what his real name is and Lost never bothers to tell anyone.
- Lost is a firm believer in what is (to this world) a variant of the Norse religion that, among other things, teaches that if you can't have a conversation with something it's not a PC and thus there's no moral ramifications with killing it in painfully graphic ways and looting the corpse.
- ↑ Let none say that he does not live up to his name.
- ↑ Basically, someone with absolutely no respect whatsoever for the Fourth Wall.
- ↑ Vortex Knight/Reborn has stated for the record that if he had any say in it, "the checkerboard pants outfit would've been my last choice of costumes."
- ↑ Hey, I don't pretend to understand their policies; I just follow 'em like everyone else
- ↑ He actually knows that he's in an MMORPG. There's probably some stirring tale of him overcoming existential angst, establishing a new set of moral values and becoming the ubermensch somewhere in there, but stopping to think about it would detract from the time normally spent killing things and taking their stuff.
- ↑ The reason these reasons are unknown is because everything that could be known is written or spoken in Korean.
This article is pretty good, but nothing's stopping Jerks from making it even better.