Excel Excel
From Unofficial Handbook of the Virtue Universe
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| For the glory of Across! | |
| Excel Excel | |
| Player: McDohl | |
| Origin: | Natural |
|---|---|
| Archetype: | Blaster |
| Security Level: | 25 |
| Personal Data | |
| Real Name: | Unknown |
| Known Aliases: | Classified |
| Species: | Human(?) |
| Age: | Legal |
| Height: | Confidential |
| Weight: | Secret |
| Eye Color: | Green |
| Hair Color: | Orange |
| Biographical Data | |
| Nationality: | Unknown |
| Occupation: | Flunky |
| Place of Birth: | Unknown |
| Base of Operations: | F City, F Prefecture |
| Marital Status: | Single |
| Known Relatives: | Unknown |
| Known Powers | |
| Flight, Hyper Speed | |
| Known Abilities | |
| Contains more energy than any sane human being would ever be able to comprehend. | |
| Equipment | |
| None | |
| ' | |
Contents |
EXCEL IS DEAD. LONG LIVE EXCEL
Summary
Excel Excel hails from an alternate dimension where most women are buxom and wear skimpy outfits. Based on her observations, there's more bleed-over from her dimension than people are letting on.
History
After the Great Will of the Macrocosm had her child with Pedro, Excel continued to remain neglected by Miss Will (now Mrs. P), causing a series of very unfortunate events to befall her. The details of such events are inconsequential, as they landed Excel in Paragon City. Completely unaware that she had been dimensionally displaced, merely reassigned by her beloved superior, Lord Ilpalazzo, she set out in to the city to conquer it in the name of the Idealogical Organization of ACROSS. Upon arriving, she discovered that her seemingly endless reserve of energy had developed an output in the form of concussive blasts of energy. Not bothering with the details of why such a transformation took place, she again merely wrote it off as Ilpalazzo's whim.
The truth of the matter is that Ilpalazzo orchestrated Excel's displacement, desiring to be free of her bungling.
Exploits
Her attempts to conquer the city were, obviously, unsuccessful. On many occasions, she sent requests to ACROSS headquarters for aid and assistance (28 letters, 462 e-mails, and 7,289 postcards with Atlas on the front with the words "WISH YOU WERE HERE"). However, since ACROSS does not exist in this dimension, all of these requests were returned to sender...except for one, which found its way in to the inbox of the CEO of Earth. Seeing potential in the girl's abilities, he dispatched one of his greatest lieutenants, Mystic Mongol, to recruit her in to the League of Extraordinary Bastards. Excel, believing these people to be the assistance ACROSS sent, happily accepted. Her first mission with the Bastards ended in spectacular failure, forcing the Bastards to go in to hiding for several months, and resurfacing later as the Circle of Jerks.
The Solo Year
After being ejected from the Jerk Hole and an angel with a flaming sword installed at the entrance, Excel struck out in to Paragon once again, alone. The details of this year are largely unknown, but once she returned to the Jerks, she had obtained a powerful relic, the V-Watch. This allowed her to transform in to Viewtiful Excel. However, this transformation conferred no additional power besides increasing her bust size significantly. Reluctantly, she was accepted back in to the Jerk ranks. To this day, she can be seen soaring over Talos Island, insisting that the conquest of the city starts with but a single island.
