Podge Hodge
From Unofficial Handbook of the Virtue Universe
| |
| "Ever get that feeling you left the oven on and then you realize you don't own one so you rape and devour a baby seal for sustenance?" | |
| Podge Hodge | |
| Player: ?? | |
| Origin: | ?? |
|---|---|
| Archetype: | ?? |
| Threat Level: | ?? |
| Personal Data | |
| Real Name: | Bazzlebroksigard Ivan Ithoctchuul |
| Known Aliases: | Poggy, Podge, chocolate thundah, The blasted one |
| Species: | ?? |
| Age: | ?? |
| Height: | ?? |
| Weight: | Depending on location |
| Eye Color: | Sometimes |
| Hair Color: | sometimes |
| Biographical Data | |
| Nationality: | Reality |
| Occupation: | Conduit and divine dimensional abberration |
| Place of Birth: | The center of creation |
| Base of Operations: | Pocket D |
| Marital Status: | Whosafuggawha? |
| Known Relatives: | The powers that be |
| Known Powers | |
| Control over existence and the ability to make himself dumber | |
| Known Abilities | |
| Beautiful oblivion, Way to the dawn, the Omegasm | |
| Equipment | |
| Eternity glove, super comfy undies, cellphone | |
| ' | |
The birth of chaos
The omniverse was born and at the center was infinite number of infinity spanning and weaving to make time and space. Among the things created there were gods and not like the ones of greek and norse mythology, these gods weaved time and space in an intelligent and harmonious design so that chaos was not existent... Of course every family has their black sheep, Podge Hodge unlike the other powers that be was self aware and desired nothing more than chaos. Podge waited until the other powers were done making the omniverse so he would be able to cause the single most chaotic thing in the entire omniverse... Life. It started simple enough, small microscopic creatures that fed off of proteins and carbon which was chaotic on their level maybe but Podge desired far more. The planet of A'maar grew in life and began to spawn land walking creatures but even then Podge was bored so he chose a few thousand Sad'je ((A squid creature that walks on land.)) And gave them intelligence far beyond any other creature. The first sentient race was born and chaos began to breed until in almost every strand of the omniverse there was some life.
Desire to be divine
Podge had destroyed the first sentient race through a slight accident involving him losing his virginity and using the coveted but infamous "Omegasm". But by the time this had happened humans were already around so it wasn't a total win. Now every creature no matter how dumb or smart has a spark of pure energy that cannot be destroyed, you may call it the spirit. Humans and a select few other races were the first to master magic and become beyond just normal mortals using the synchronization between body, mind and spirit. Some even became known as gods in their realms and strands but some ascended into the void which is the point beyond the strands in the omniverse where Podge lived. These few rare beings collaborated and began to mesh together one by one creating a single deity that called themself the powers that be, despite the original powers that be just sleeping. Sadly for the fake powers that be they could never ascend to the true point of an almighty because they were not as in tune with the art of creation and destruction as Podge was. Gathering all of their energies they partly shackled Podge to the omniverse. Podge was slightly happy but vexed at the same time.
Flowers for Bazzlebroks
Podge was interested with his stay in existence for only a short time because he was too damn smart. Podge already knew everything that would happen within the boundaries of creation. ((Which explains the silvers ability to escape Podge's control when they ascended.)) So Podge went to the year 1985 picked up a cellphone and infused it with various technologies and energies and jamming it into his skull thus creating a dampening field for his intelligence. Ever since Podge Hodge has spent his time in Pocket D and done his best to find friends and have fun... However even though Podge willed himself to be dumb you will always find him asking questions.
Touching People!
During his first year in pocket D, Podge met a strange bartender named Aldin. Being strange himself Podge immediately joined forces with the bartender and refused drinks to nearly every patron and broke the fourth wall many times! Sadly Aldin vanished most likely in an accident involving Mongeese eating his colon. Being inspired by Aldin's life of douchebaggery Podge decided to stay in the D and make as many people as possible smile and be merry!
Puppet master hiding in plain sight
Few know of Podge's power over the D and the people within it, not even the DJ himself knows of the secret emperor who lurks in the shadows... Okay so he doesn't lurk but he's still pretty sneaky. Usually not officially affiliated with a faction, Podge actually has several people in high seats of power that follow his word and also a few average Joes who make small pushes here and there to create chaos. Of course, this network is very secretive and operates only by Podge's word, meaning that most members are unaware of any other member's existence. You may sometimes see Podge innocently lingering around conflicts in the D, while it seems he is just there to watch, he may secretly be giving instructions to his agents within the fray.
Friends, enemies and violated baby seals
((UNDER CONSTRUCTION!))
Mako - The trinity that forms Podge's mind not often comes into contact with one person frequently. However due to Mako's tolerance of Podge all three personas now know and are atleast partially fond of Mako... Some not willing to admit it. Gepdox loves to mentor Mako, it's not often he gets to teach and learn around someone who isn't insane or hates his guts. Xohdeg the darker side of Podge doesn't get too much time in physical presence, mostly because both Podge and Gepdox suppress him and the only chance he has of surfacing is to trick one into releasing their hold. Since Xohdeg often sees Mako more than most people and has trouble bothering her the dark entity has respect for her.
Dave Wallace - DAMN YOU DAVE WALLACE!! DAAAMMN YOOOUUU!!
"Beautiful oblivion"
Despite Podge's purpose being a creator he also has the ability to completely annihilate energy or mass using his own physical body as a conduit for the void. This technique is called "Beautiful Oblivion". Podge can only use this technique when the dampening field around his head is turned off and he becomes fully aware of his power. Podge has used it several times before on his closest friends but no one has memory of it because he was merely running a test all of those times so each time he switched things back to normal.
"Way to the dawn"
Every coin has two sides and the other side of "Beautiful Oblivion" is the "Way to the Dawn" ability that creates energy or mass out of absolutely nothing. Unlike "Beautiful Oblivion" This technique can be used by Podge even without being all-knowing, he usually uses it to conjure up taquitos or windex but he only does this when he absolutely has to because he thinks scavenging is so much funner.
The Omegasm
Podge Hodge doesn't need sex and has no desire for it... Well okay he violates things like physics and small baby animals for the joy of being himself but other than that he has no real need for it. Despite public belief Podge lost his virginity whilst all-knowing and all-powerful and he did it merely for the destruction it would cause. On the mortal plane of the strand that held the "A'maa'rin" race Podge visited them at the peak of their power in order to make a little trouble. He posed as an A'maa'rin, five years afterwards he banged a high priestess and in doing so gave and received the Omegasm. Needless to say that particular strand of reality was shattered apart. The priestess was converted into a ball of pure bliss and was stored in some secret location within Pocket D. Only beings able to travel to the void should or could perform such an outstanding feat.
Podge The OOC story
A long time ago I played world of warcraft but being myself I found it waaay to slow so I moved on to CoX instead. My first hero character was some regenerating scrapper... I forgot their name because that was about 3 years ago. I played until most of my characters were atleast twenty and every time they hit twenty I lacked the commitment and patience to play with them any further, so I made two characters that I built specifically for unwinding so I would find it easier to level up my others when it came to crunch time. PoDgE iMp and hOdGe ImP were born. They easily became fun characters to tell jokes with but unfortunately I felt I had spent too much time into these characters for them to be nothing more than little nuisances on the freedom server. So I moved my main character to the Virtue server upon hearing that it was for roleplay and I designed Podge Hodge after PoDgE iMp's design which was a big galoot with a hook arm a ridiculous beard and tightie whities so large they could eclipse the sun. Unfortunately soon after I found Podge too lovable and fluffy. So I revamped Podge's story and gave him a makeover that would make him truly atrocious instead of lovable... His basic personality stayed intact. If you have any questions about Podge send a message to wabaku42@yahoo.com
Podge of many faces
Podge has several forms he becomes given rare situations:
-Fully colored Podge is a happy Podge and it is the most common state you will see Podge in (Theme song: "Scatman's world" by Scatman John)
-Pitch black Podge is the second highest form Podge can be. It occurs when Podge's cellphone is distrupted or turned off. Before Podge was shackled to the omniverse he was still an easy going, eccentric and omnipotent douche, but after trillions of years being so far away from grace Podge's intelligent form has become twisted and filled with animosity. He sees on spectrums of reality that not even the highest seer could dream of, his powers are fully realized and the hatred he has towards life and it's betrayal towards him burns brighter than the heavens come judgment day.(Theme song: "With my mind" by Cold) Podge also turns "dark" when he is sad or powered down.
-"Gepdox" and "Xohdeg"... Classified information.
-Broken Podge is the highest form Podge can take. Podge loses his sanity entirely, past, present and future begin to mesh in his mind. The reason his broken form is the highest is because at this moment he can intricately alter mass and energy instead of making it just "Poof". If he uses "beautiful oblivion" in this form the mass or energy he destroys will be erased from all time and space as if it never existed. "Way to the dawn" will not be capable of making a small object but instead create entire alternate strands of the omniverse... As for the Omegasm It will annihilate all existence including Podge himself if used in his broken form. (Theme song: "The sound of a balloon deflating" By a deflating balloon.)
Weaknesses and... Oh come on do I have to go into strengths?
Podge is incredibly hard to harm, a humongous charge of any specific type of energy can definitely disrupt Podge's omniversal layers resulting in him "Dieing". Podge never really dies for good, if his heart stops and he quits moving it only means you separated him from his physical layer. There is only one person who knows how to end Podge forever, unfortunately he is lying and its okay that he lied because he really doesn't exist. As for people that he is fond of... Well... The people he is fond of tend to be everyone and everything and the very few who are above the rest are incredibly strong so he barely has anything to worry about. Here is a list of Podge's weaknesses.
-Incredibly naive: If you told him that battery acid tasted like sugar he would probably be eating them for years before he realizes the difference... We are talking about a guy who drinks Windex so birds will fly into his stomach.
-Masochism: Wait. What? Lemme 'splain. Podge enjoys humility, he hates being omnipotent for the most part so pain is a signal that he is mortal. This is a weakness because if a fatal blow is coming after him, he probably wouldn't be quick to dodge.
-Depression: Believe it or not, being a creature of constantly fluctuating thought he is really easy to depress. However it usually doesn't last long unless the depression is somehow self inflicted.
FUN FACTS!!
-Podge has started/heavily influenced eight major VG wars in 2008.
-Podge's personality and characteristics are based on a character on a cartoon show in the 1980's that doesn't exist because Podge erased it from time in order to gain his own originality.
-Our multi-colored friend originally was a bar tender's sidekick in Pocket D.
-After playing as Podge for more than 30 minutes I type with his speech impediment even in OOC chat... After 3 hours of playing as Podge I start to talk with his speech impediment in real life.
-Podge's current story is far different from his first origin story, when people bring this up to Podge IC and say "Weren't you a 'hiccup' a year ago?" Podge may respond by smearing bananas all over himself and then smearing himself all over the person who asked the question. OOC explanation for this inconsistent change of story? Mr.T shook my hand and that forced my fingers to type something more epic for Podge's back story.
