From Unofficial Handbook of the Virtue Universe

FATHER FIGURE

Chapter 2 - Insignifant Details?

Chaos Red was stunned by the news. He wasn’t elated, he wasn’t despondent - he was just stunned. It took a hug and poke in the stomach from Loca to knock him out his catatonic state.

“Come on big guy. What do ya think? Is it awesome or what?” Loca asked, oblivious to the weight of her words.

Chaos Red reached around to hug her back, but it was a robotic reaction. In truth he wanted to push her away and say, “Are you nuts? We’re wanted criminals without a penny to our name! We can’t be parents!”

But, he knew that Loca’s psychosis would kick in hard if je said that, so he held back. His mind was racing. He simply did not know what to do. In the end, (and like he always did with Loca), he gave in. So he offered a light and cordial, “Congratulations honey” and hugged her again.

Loca cooed at the second hug and plunged her head onto his chest and squeezed tighter. “If it’s a boy I’m going to call him Paco”.

Only Loca could think “Paco” was a cool name in the 21st century. Red had visions of his child growing up to train burros to navigate canyon walls with a name like that.

“We’ll just stay here, it’s perfect for us,” Loca continued. “There’s a grocery store down the road we can rob at night for food. There’s a bank we’ve robbed before not far from here if we need cash. Oh Red, won’t it be perfect?”

Chaos Red pushed her away and tried to reason with her – (always a mistake with a homicidal maniac like Loca).

“Look girl, we’re not even supposed to be here. This place belongs to my dad, Doctor North. We’re here illegally. One day someone will figure out we’re here. They’ll catch us Loca, and they won’t let you keep the baby when they do. We’re wanted criminals remember?” he said all this as gently as he could.

There was truth in everything Red said of course. Loca had broken into their old home, and they both had started to squat in it. They were safe for now, because Doctor North (the owner of the place) had been missing for so long they could live here undetected. One day however someone would hear them, or realize the apartment was occupied again – and one simple phone call to the police would be all it took to bring their illusion of “home” crashing down around them.

“Oh Red, you always worry about insignificant details,” Loca responded.

There would be no debating her on the “reality” of the situation, mostly because Loca’s grasp on reality was always tenuous. So Red had two choices, go his separate way (and abandon his unborn child in the process), or work with what he had in front of him. Red’s affection for Loca was too strong for him to even consider the former.

“I’ll have to rig the utilities so that the city doesn’t see we’re drawing electricity and natural gas. I know how to do that. I’ve done it before,” Red thought. “Then I’ll need to see if I can discretely access Dad’s network, so I can monitor any transmissions to make sure nobody is on to us. Then, I’ll need to score us some income.” Red felt his shoulders slump at the realization of all the work there was ahead of him.

Loca of course was reading his mind the whole time and just looked up to him and smiled, “First though, we’re going to have a long, and adventurous snuggle. Bet you’ve never been intimate with a pregnant girl before! You know it does strange things to our hormones right,” she asked?

Red did not know that, but he would soon find out, and within minutes the two of them were sprawled on the floor, doing what healthy teenagers do when left alone with nothing but their hormones and imagination to keep them company…

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