Talk:Fae Wree Tail
From Unofficial Handbook of the Virtue Universe
Fae in action, from A Fistful of... Let Me Get My Catcher's Mitt, by Shayne Dark:
“Hey mister. Where do you keep your licorice?” The small voice sounded at Cartney’s waist. “Is it in here?”
“What?” Reflexes took over and Cartney jumped backwards, his hand slapping for his gun. His holster was empty. He managed to bend his waist far enough forward to see where the voice originated from. A small creature, possibly female and certainly not human was looking down the barrel of his luger. She worked the slide with breakneck speed, sending bullets flying in every direction.
“No! No! No! No! No!No!No!No!No!” She considered each shell for its licorice content and found them to be wanting. “Fae wants licorice. Hmmph! You are a bad, bad man. No happily ever after for you!”
“This is not happening.” Archon Cartney reached down to his belt pouch and pulled out a concussion grenade. He was brought up short as the red-haired homunculus pulled out a double handful of painfully familiar looking pins.
“I already checked there!” Fae looked cross, letting the pins fall to the floor. “No candy!”
“Not again.” His reflexes were good, but the countdown was too far gone to stop. Archon Cartney reached for the buckles of his web belt as the first of the grenades went off. His body exploded with pain as the point blank detonations threw him back and forth like a rag doll. When he regained his senses the creature was sitting on his chest. She grabbed the metal halo that surrounded his head cranking it back and forth like it was a steering wheel.
“Once upon a time there was a lovely little Fae whose evil wicked fairy godfather, that’s you, wouldn’t let her have any candy. Fae Wree Tail had been a good girl and deserved all the Candy in the world, but her fairy godfather, that’s still you, said that she had been bad.”
“You can have all the candy you want. Just let go of my head,” Cartney managed from between gritted teeth. He swung a fist up but the creature avoided it deftly. Which was more than his own nose could say. It flattened with a crack sending a fresh jolt of pain through the agony he was already experiencing.
“Fae. He doesn’t have any candy.” Shizuru stepped out of a shadow, she cocked an eyebrow at the Council soldiers still fighting each other. Under her mental commands they redoubled their efforts.
“Sure he does.” Another voice called out. Archon Cartney paled. He knew that voice. The hero in green. Morgan Mac Hine. The day just kept getting better.
“I don’t have any candy!” Cartney cried out as his head was wrenched back and forth. “Look at me! I am physical perfection. The very height of the Council! I don’t have candy!”
“Yes, you do,” Morgan said. “Fae, remember what Numero Catorce brought you for your party?”
“Piñata!” Fae shouted gleefully bouncing up and down on Cartney’s chest. She reached behind her back and brought out a baseball bat easily as large as she was. “The candy is on the inside! Fae get it! Fae get it! Hold still.”
“I hate you all,” Archon Cartney managed before blissful unconsciousness claimed him.
--LooneyToons 10:24, 3 May 2007 (MST)
