From Unofficial Handbook of the Virtue Universe
I never knew Chekhov could be funny, until I met Dr. Secarrion.
- V. Grey
Q & A
[annotated from the CNN/Larry King episode that was pre-empted by that Rikti thing]
Alright, Alright, we are back and we’ve got the hero Vanadia of the Elementals here tonight, and I would just like to say thank you for coming. I know that a lot of people had a hand in this. Lots of questions from the viewers, so let’s just get into it then.
A: [nod from Vanadia]
Q: Vanadia, Van?
A: That works.
Q: That’s like the element vanadium right?
A: Aye, that’s it, like the stuff they use in surgical steel and car bodies, and strangely enough, dental crowns.
Q: Ok, but it’s vanadium pentoxide, V2O5 right? So, why aren’t you orange colored?
A: That’s a good question. Unfortunately for you the Doctor never told me, and I could care less.
[Larry shifts in his seat. Vanadia just stares.]
Q: Ok…by the ‘Doctor’ you mean Dr. Edward Secarrion, right?
A: That’d be the one. Is he scheduled on the show by chance?
Heh no, ‘fraid not. [disappointed look on her face]
Q: Sooo… Dr. Secarrion is currently a wanted fugitive. His crimes have been pretty, well... frankly over the top. Then there’s this new, well how to put it, ‘obsession’ with his ‘metaloid’ process. What’s your take?
A: [seems to blink slowly] Oh yes, Obsession. That’s a good word for it.
Q: Anything else? I mean, Ok, metaloid. Why metal? Heavy metals, etc. What was Secarrion trying to accomplish?
A: Heh, ‘xactly! I thought the same thing when I was drowning in that bio-reactor. [LONG pause, with no follow-up. Vanadia looks off camera to someone. Larry makes a strange noise in his throat.]
Q: Ok then, drowning. I understand that you were …
A: Dead. That’s right. [growing agitated now] The doctor needed to ‘suspend the metabolic processes for catalyzation to occur’, or some such happy horse sh*t [bleep]. But you’ve hit on the major point. Oh, and it was damn painful to boot, not unlike cheap liquid draino being pumped into your heart without the benefit of a sedative. F*ck [bleep!] They even give child rapists sedatives. Sick motherf***[bleep!, bleep!!]
[Vanadia looks pretty agitated at this point. She now looks angrily off screen toward her agent.]
Q: [Larry making a subtle cut sign] Oh…ok then. Right. Well this process was also used on the others. Your relatives I take it? There is some indication that your family, genetically speaking, is already predisposed to this ‘process’. All sorts of crazy things, including varied abilities such as the capacity to change back to human form. What’s all that about?
A: Yep. [the constant drum of Larry’s fingers now shakes the mike loose]
[a crewmember slips over to readjust the microphone. Another long pause.]
Q: k…says here you ‘eat’ metal. What’s that all about?
A: That’s right. Look generally Larry, it’s about all I can do right now but come over there and eat those delicious looking filings you’ve got right out of your mouth. [at that she releases a strange bitonal metallic laugh; her agent moans off screen]
…no…No calm down, I’m just kidding...KIDDING [to several studio security types.] Seriously.
Yes I do absorb metal, perhaps too much, but not unlike some regular folks drink, say like coffee.
[Larry softly puts his cup down.]
Q: [Irritated now] It’s been said… [now slightly louder] It’s been SAID by several authorities, Manicore among them, that metaloids are “inherently unstable beings”. He says Point-of-Fact, that you’re crazy. IS HE RIGHT?
A: Oh he’s still pissed about his arrows.
[Larry now is visible frustrated, and shaking his head]
Q: And Positro…
A: DON’T, even go there.
Q: Right. Ok. Ya. Well lets see… Dr. Secarrion and the Elementals have been hard to … [sounds of muffled air raid sirens are heard in the background; a muted ‘Thank God’ comes from Larry’s mike]
What’s this, ok, Ok, I guess we’re heading to commercial, but stay tuned. When we come back, we’ve got some great historic clips of how Statesman saved a local woman from…
[end of clip]
I was Dead for awhile …
“Art is never finished, only abandoned.”
I used to think Dr. Secarrion said that, but I later found out it was that dead painter. I suspect that a better encompassing quote for the Doc may have been something like, “A person is rational… insomuch as they sponsor my agenda.”
I was his first and only Vanabin lifeform.
The neurological disruption on a human mind cannot be under estimated in the Secarrion Metaloid Process. Madness often occurs, as the cadaver is returned to life. If the subject is not terminated before the process begins, it becomes even more problematic.
This was the case for Van.
Metas I’ve Met